Sad.

I am having a real bad week. I hate fighting and that is all the people around me seem to want to do.I am telling this from my prospective so therefore it is my truth although others would disagree , I can't help how I feel. They would disagree because they would all say they "don't like fighting" but if you can't back down,respect others right to their OPINION and keep pushing other peoples buttons then it gets hard to believe you don't like fighting .

I get so sad when I see siblings that get along, (Because I wish with all my heart my two girls would care about each other.)

Sisters that are also best friends.I get sad because I love both my girls and they don't even like each other.I don't want to say hate but it's probably true. I know that I tried my best when they were little but the fighting takes on a life of it's own.

There is nothing that makes me feel sadder.

I know i am going to hear "Oh pity party or that I am trying to put a guilt trip" on them. That is not my intention. I just want them to KNOW how I feel. I am sad. I love them both.

I feel like I don't know what I did wrong. I know people with kids that are really close and are really different from each other ,but it doesn't matter to them. They love each other. I felt this way about My brother . I loved him. That was more important than not liking things he did, not understanding things he did. Hating some things about him but NEVER not loving him!

Even when we fought I knew I still loved him. How did my parents instill this in me and I could not with my kids.I feel like I failed at raising them even if they are both great people,in their own ways. No let me make that statement stronger I did fail them.

I have a half sister and She and I were separated for 25 years. I missed out on her life, her kids growing up . We had a misunderstanding not even a fight . I recently began to talk to her again and every day I kick my self for not finding her sooner, but I am also grateful to have her back in my life.

I know I have less years left than I've lived and I am glad to have her in my life. I love her. I will never let her go again.

If i could have any wish it would be for my family to all love one and other. Right now I know it will never happen , and worse of all is no one even cares. It doesn't matter if I figure out where I went wrong it's too late. I will always love my kids and I will always carry around this broken feeling.