I need a word....

I need a word and a thesaurus won't help.I need a word that means sadder,angry ,hurt, disappointed,unheard. See there isn't a word to fit the emotions I am feeling.

I know someone who would say I am having a pity party and believe it or not I know when I am feeling like that, this is not that. It is not holiday let down, I got beautiful gifts. Christmas eve was very nice. Christmas day dinner went by pretty well......

Then the bullshit begins. The arguments, no matter how petty it starts it has to be a blow up. There is no small back and forth arguments someone always has to take it too far.

There is no respect.No feelings are spared.Why does it have to go so far? Why am I being baited now ? Yeah,I asked it. Why do you want to pick a fight with me? Maybe you don't know you're doing, but I think you do.I feel like you are purposely poking me with a stick. You know what I mean pushing my buttons, not literally poking me. I feel at the end of my rope,and a slew of other cliches.

How can I stop the war here? I just want it to end.

When I say nothing to you about your feelings it is because I honestly do not know what to say , it always seems to go bad when I say how I feel. I am wrong. Well I am here to say I am not wrong. My feelings are what they are .My feelings aren't wrong . How can you say I am wrong for feeling sad or angry.hurt. or conflicted?It's how I feel. I'm done.