On my mind....." What ifs"

I sometimes feel as if one thing in your life goes wrong it slowly snowballs, tumbling freely and there is no way to slow it down.One decision as small as you can imagine,can fill your life with years of sadness. Am I talking about answering a text as you drive,and perhaps veering off into oncoming traffic? No something very small. Something that feels totally insignificant when you do it. The type of decision that you make every day. Not picking up the phone,going to Dunkin Donuts instead of Starbucks, calling in sick to work, leaving at 3:10 when you should of left at 3:05.

The result however hovers with you like the smell of vomit, that lingers,then the smell of vomit masked with Lysol.No matter how you go over in your head about the details of what you should of done or did the problem can't be changed. One word, that could of led your life down another path! What if that call was someone who needed me.

"What ifs", those are so awful. because "what ifs" never turn around.You really can not change things.Some times we call them regrets but,no, those are bigger than the things than I am talking about. I mean you might regret the result but it starts out so damn small sometimes. Regrets to me seem to come from things done with a purpose,seeing someones car at the deli and driving by to avoid them. Checking the caller ID and letting it go to voicemail. those are bigger decisions. What if you start your day in a green sweater, and change it to blue on a whim, would it have made a difference in your day, your week your month? What if someone compliments you on the blue one, and it puts you in a good mood. Your mood reflects on someone you work with and you share a kind word with them,when they have been having a godawful week that you were unaware of,can you see the snowball starting to grow?Perhaps the kind word is enough to pull them out of their rut. Because in my experience one word can be so extraordinary!

Now what if you wore the green instead and the person who liked the blue criticized the green and you felt down. You KNEW you should of wore the blue. Maybe as a result the kind word never gets said. It's Awful to think that one missed thing can make such a difference. A right or a left, leave in the morning or afternoon.Blue sweater? hey you never know! But anytime you can give a good word even a smile you will likely not regret it .